Today was a weird combination of good and bad.

I got home and on the white board my mom wrote...

"honey-

I had to come home and change my pants, I coughed so hard that I peed a whole bunch in them.

=) Love You

I hope you get your knees fixed soon.

Needless to say, it really made my day. I took a picture of it and then copied on a seperate sheet of paper the note, word for word. (I know there's a better vocabulary word for that expression, but I just can't think of it)

But yes, i thought the message was hilarious, it's something you'd never really expect out of my mom.

Afterwords, Tab and I played Beavis and Butthead on Super NES...good times, but we were interupted when my mom came in and called a "family meeting"

She started off by saying, "this is the most serious talk we've ever had..." so i figured i'd pay attention because it sounded important.

She told us that Nannie's knees have gotten so bad that she has to get them completely replaced. They were originally going to just clean them out for an inexpensive, quick, temperary fix...but, she's wrecked them so bad that now the only option is serious surgery.

So, there's got to be cut backs- major cut backs. I accept it easily, change (external change, that is) is something i'm good at. I adapt well.

No cable, no random spending, and eventually no internet. No AOL...no recent updates from the comfort of my computer room.

As my mom tells us how serious this is going to be, and how much we're going to be finacially screwed- Nikki inturrupts with a question only Nikki would ask: "Does this mean i can't get new glasses?"

Suddenly the eyes from Nannie, my mom, Tabitha and I all meet and focus on the most selfish human being i have ever met to produce an intense death glare.

What a bitch.

Nannie is, at this point, crying because she feels she has failed her family by not being able to produce money and give them what they want, and Nikki coldly asks about herself.

You see, Nikki already has glasses. Our new insurance covered the price...they were free. They allow her to see...but, i guess Nikki doesn't like them...so, she wants my mom to go out and buy her a new pair when we don't have money.

It was all I could do to keep from swearing and kicking her ass- we all make our comments about her selfishness.

After her small brain finally understood that she would not be able to get her new glasses due to lack of cash, she threw a fit and ran off towards her room. My mom stopped the bitch before she could make it and made her sit back down.

We talked more, Nannie feeling horrible because of her disability, meanwhile I felt bad because i have taken everything for granted for so long. Nannie works so hard to give us whatever we need. And now she won't be able to do that anymore, soon we won't have hardly anything. Soon the money will stop coming in...and it's hard to imagine what life like that will be.

We're falling from middle class...but, at the same time, i couldn't be happier. As much as it hurts inside, to see so many different personalities inside my family, i feel so close. I feel like we're getting to know each other for who we are and not what we can provide. We won't have hardly anything for christmas...probably nothing, but i will still feel fine because i know there will be love. and we will still joke around and laugh and play video games. and the times will still be good.

and i hope nannie's knees will help her because she's in so much pain; it hurts to see her try to walk around the house. and it hurts to know that she is already falling.

Tonight we went driving around hoping from pet shop to pet shop, looking for dog ads. While in the car we didn't fight once, we joked around. I kept reminding my mom that she peed her pants during a presentation...in front of people.

I reminded Nannie that i painted her toe nails without her knowing....

and that's what's important...times like that.

<-gordon & maroon->